"We're all stories in the end" - Why I want to play The Doctor

I'd always wanted to be an actor (Since I was aged 4 I think, but I could be wrong. Eh.) but nothing has made that dream clearer than the Doctor.

I should explain, The Doctor, as in the main role of Doctor Who. I should probably just write the character as "Doctor Who" to make it clearer for people but he's called The Doctor, not "Doctor Who" so there. I distinctly remember being 10 (coming up 11) back in 2005 and having my parents tell me that a television show that they watched as kids was being relaunched and they asked me if I wanted to watch with them. A show that my parents watched? "It must be awful" I thought, but relented anyway and sat down to watch this "Doctor Who".

Best decision of my life. (Sorry past girlfriends/friends/other meaningful people)

I was instantly blown away when Chris Eccleston muttered that, now famous, first word: "Run." This is how I was introduced to The Doctor:

I was instantly hooked. I could understand why this old tv show was a part of British culture (God save the Queen, crumpets etc.) and why so many adults adore it. This impossible man saunters into people's lives and makes them more exciting, more action packed, better.I was introduced to it all. I was introduced to the Daleks, creatures born on an alien world and infused with nothing but hate for other forms of life, the ultimate enemy of the Doctor. I was introduced to the T.A.R.D.I.S (That's Time And Relative Dimension In Space in case you were wondering kids!) the Doctor's time machine that looks like an old police box and is bigger on the inside. But most importantly I was introduced to the Doctor, the last of the time lords, a race of aliens with the ability to travel through all of time and space.

The Doctor became my hero.

But then, tragedy. The Doctor was dying.

Time lords have this little trick, sort of a way of cheating death. But it meant he was going to change. Chris Eccleston was the Doctor! I vividly remember exclaiming to my parents how I would never watch Doctor Who again, and this new bloke was going to ruin everything.

"Never judge a book by its cover" was the first of many lessons that the new Doctor would teach me.Want to know why? Because he was my Doctor.

I remember watching the first episode of David Tennant's run on Doctor Who and falling in love with the character all over again. This new Doctor was everything the previous one was and more. It's very difficult for me to articulate everything about the tenth Doctor that makes him my Doctor but I'll get to it, right after I discuss the journey.

David Tennant was the Doctor during a very important period of my life, puberty. When I left primary school and went to secondary school, one of the few remaining constants was the Doctor. As I grew up and I drifted from certain friends and made new ones, the Doctor was still the Doctor. From being aged 10 to being aged 15, David Tennant was the Doctor.

I went on a very important journey during those years, as all people do, but the Doctor went on that journey with me, he was there throughout. As I lost people, so did he, as I experienced times when I felt down, so did he, as I grew up and changed as a person, so did he. When you get right down to it, Doctor Who is a sci-fi show for sure, but it's more than that. It's about life and death and love and loss and everything in between. It takes the kind of man who can never have the lives we do to show us how special we really are.

So, when David Tennant's time as the Doctor came to an end, so did a very important period of my life.

"I don't want to go."

I remember thinking what an incredible journey I'd been taken on when I first saw the above scene and said goodbye to the tenth Doctor. I remember thinking how the Doctor and myself had grown . I remember thinking: "That's what I want to do with the rest of my life."

I want to give somebody what David Tennant gave me, that same journey of excitement and self discovery, a constant in a sea of fleeting aspects of life. I want to act in all sorts of roles and pieces but above all else, I want to be the Doctor.

But it wasn't just timing that made the tenth Doctor my Doctor, he was everything I've always thought he should be. Charismatic, fun-loving, caring, witty, strong-willed, but impossibly lonely. Everybody he ever meets will end up dead before him and he always knew that.

I understand that writers and directors are just as responsible for the telling of a tale like this, but if anybody else had played the Doctor, it wouldn't have been the same. I'm very much of the opinion that the actor is the one who dictates whether a character stays with you, and this is nowhere more prevalent than here.

None of this means that Matt Smith (Who followed David Tennant and played the eleventh Doctor) was bad, far from it, he was phenomenal, but he wasn't my Doctor. That didn't mean I didn't learn anything from his era, I did. In fact, one of my favourite quotes from the series came from Matt Smith:

"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things… The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things, and make them unimportant."

Advice like that is why I love Doctor Who. 

I've been struggling with how to end a piece as personal as this, but I suppose this is as good a way as any. I know that I many never be the Doctor, the odds are stacked against me, but if nothing else, Doctor Who has given me an unforgettable journey, advice on living life and above all, something to strive for. Could I really ask for anything more? I'll leave you with the first time I saw David Tennant as the Doctor, and what is hopefully a similar scene to the one I'll get to do one day. After all, we're all stories in the end, better make it a good one, eh?